Well, it looks we can’t have a lil of fun at some nice place because we immediately become the talk of the day! Check these cover story where Lee and I were mentioned at the local newspaper of the town where we spend a weekend:
Historic Tower Turns into “Love Nest” After Tourist Pair Caught in the Act
Locals Say “Enough is Enough” as Public Indecency Reaches New Heights
By Sandy Shores, Senior Reporter
BEACHVILLE – In what may be the most shocking incident to hit the picturesque shores of Beachville in decades, a local couple was caught engaging in “inappropriate behavior” at the renowned Old Castle Tower, a historic landmark known for its breathtaking views and centuries-old stonework. The offenders, identified as tourists Alex and Lee, were apprehended by an undercover police operation designed to stop the growing trend of, shall we say, “highly public romance” in the area.
It was around 3:30 p.m. on Monday when local police, tipped off by several concerned citizens, launched a sting operation targeting the tower. Officers had received multiple complaints from tourists and residents alike about the increasing frequency of, well, “public displays of affection” at the site. But no one could have predicted what they’d find when they ascended to the top of the historic castle that day.
“I was just coming up the steps for a nice, quiet view of the ocean when I saw—well, let’s just say I didn’t need a telescope to see everything,” said Officer Karen M. Daniels, who was part of the operation. “They were, um, rather busy with each other. Right there, on the parapet, as if the tower was their own personal bedroom.”
According to eyewitnesses, Alex, a man who reportedly stands at a towering 6’1” with a physique that could be mistaken for a gladiator, was seen completely in the nude—much to the dismay of several young children nearby. Lee, his companion, was described as “stunningly attractive,” but unfortunately, her beauty did little to shield the duo from the wrath of local law enforcement.
“I mean, sure, the guy was… well, impressive in certain areas,” said Brenda Thompson, a local ice cream vendor, shaking her head. “And she was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, but it’s still a castle, people! Not the Playboy Mansion!”
While the pair’s physical appeal was the subject of much local commentary, the real problem remains clear: public decency—or, rather, the lack thereof. The incident has sparked outrage across Beachville, with many locals decrying the behavior of the tourists, and even some businesses issuing a public statement on the matter.
“It’s one thing to enjoy the beauty of our historic sites, but it’s another to transform them into your own personal love shack,” said Sandy Beach, owner of Sandy’s Souvenir Shack, who recently posted a sign in her shop window that reads: “No Public Romancing—Keep It Classy, Folks!”
Beachville’s City Council is reportedly drafting new legislation aimed at curbing this disturbing trend of public indecency, which, in recent weeks, has been escalating to unprecedented levels. And while the local police are prepared to crack down, many residents are beginning to question whether the town’s infamous “sun, sand, and sex” reputation has gone too far.
“We know we’re a popular tourist destination, but there’s a line,” said Beachville Mayor Emily Waters. “Our historic sites and landmarks are sacred. We’ve had enough of tourists treating the castle like a set for an R-rated movie. There’s a place for everything, but not in our towers.”
Local Experts Weigh In:
Dr. Tom Sanders, a renowned psychologist specializing in beach town tourism trends, believes the recent surge in public indiscretions may be linked to an overabundance of sun, sand, and alcohol.
“The beach has long been associated with relaxation and freedom, but that freedom doesn’t mean you should exercise your libido on every corner of our historic sites,” Dr. Sanders explained. “There’s something to be said about maintaining decorum, and I think it’s time we remind people that the Old Castle was never meant to be used as a dungeon for… well, whatever they were doing.”
Despite the couple’s arrest, both Alex and Lee remained unfazed, reportedly laughing off the situation when questioned by police. “It was just a little fun,” Alex said, shrugging. “We’ve done worse things in other places.”
“We’re just two people doing a natural thing,” Lee added with a wink. “Why can’t we enjoy it in peace?”
Local authorities, however, are taking a firm stance. Both Alex and Lee have been issued fines for public indecency, and the Beachville Chamber of Commerce has offered a “No Shirt, No Service” policy for any future tourists caught engaging in such behavior in public areas.
“It’s time to end this madness,” said Officer Daniels. “We may love a good tan, but we don’t need to see everything under the sun.”
A Note to Our Readers:
Now, we know some of you might be dying to see exactly what went down at the castle. And while we at The Tidal Wave Times take no pleasure in indulging the public’s curiosity for prurient thrills, we also believe in informing the people. For journalistic integrity and your right to know… we have included select images of the “incident” on the next page.
But before you flip ahead: Let’s be clear—we didn’t include these images for shock value or to fuel your baser instincts. No, no. We did it because it’s our duty as reporters to ensure the community is fully aware of the extent of these public indecencies. Consider this an educational public service—purely for informational purposes.
